Nov 17, 2010
Disappointed, sad, mixture of feelings..
I called Peini after work for counselling session because I really feel very troubled, though it's just a small matter.
I don't dare and will not say anything more and I just want to get over this.

Glad that it's finally holiday, a day to rest my mind and eyes.
I can't take it staying at the office anymore.
The "SUAY" air kept lingering around me.
I always wanted to scream out my problems but I can't.
Luckily I got counsellor carol and peini to enlighten me.
Thanks to you dude, I feel better now.

Cleaning up day tomorrow. Operation K (Killing of cockroaches) D:

Last but not least,
Once it's strained, it can never be as good as in the past again and eventually it will drift away.

Nov 4, 2010
Here comes my three days off..
But I wasn't that happy, today~~
I'm the STUPIDEST person in the world.
Why I always being taken for granted and yet I still do so much for them..
Why I always have to cry secretly & try to forgive them after a few days..
Why am I so stupid, that's why kanna bully..

Today is actually a happy day. I have helped my customer to get a very cheap seat (because we usually cannot find any cheap airticket at this period of time)It all depends on luck..and when my customer thank me, I got that very shiok and happy feeling. Happy for my customer and feeling satisfied as well cos I have helped someone.

I ended work late and left office at 7.30pm. I already planned to buy J.CO Donut to surprise my family but there are only 2 outlets in Spore; Raffles City and Bugis. Besides that, I have to buy dinner home for them too. Hence, I walk very fast cos I scared I cannot be home by 9pm and I nearly sprained my ankle when rushing for the train. Reached City Hall, bought the donuts, feeling extremely happy though very tired. Ran back to Kovan, buy dinner and "fly" home. Each hand like carry 3kg of dumbbell of plastic bags but still happy because I anticipated their happy faces, eating the cute donuts. However, everything goes otherwise AGAIN. Not the first time, but I still feel very sad. Very tired when reached home, nobody bother again.. When I say got cute and delicious donut, "Orh, Donut.." such cold reactions. Worst still, when open the donut box, nobody eating, only me..Just like I buy for myself.. Disappointed, loss for words and went back to my room to cry..This thing doesn't happen for the first time. It always happen. I just want to buy the best for them, everytime think for them but nobody really think of me..

I always pretend to be happy, pretend to be very independent, very strong, pretend that I don't mind...I don't bother..In fact,I feel very lonely and sad.
I know nobody is interested in listening to I say, I know it but I didn't say anything. I feel hurt but nobody know. They will just think I crazy, I pms, I emo, I watever..
I really don't know what to say, they're hopeless.
I decided to save those money that I planned to treat them since no one will appreciate what I buy. They will just put aside and ended up I eat all.
I really have that feeling of throwing away all those donuts I bought for them.
But I would rather eat it all for tomorrow lunch than wasting food. If cannot eat already throw it at their face! :P

Sighed U-U
Hope for a better tomorrow T-T