Mar 16, 2010
It has been quite some time after my last post.

I pass my exams. Thank god because I know I didn't put in enough effort.

It's really hard to change for good. I kept telling myself to start studying days before the exams but I just can't.

GPA is also getting worse this sem.

Haix. After exams, I kept looking for jobs that is up to my ability. And I kinda choosy.

No telemarketer, customer service, flyer distributor, receptionist.. Then I am wondering what can I do?

I just want a job that can put me occupy and meet friendly people who are there to teach me patiently.

I agreed that I got quite a good memory skills and trying my best to do my job well, but I always failed to interpret what they really want.

Doing the wrong things and make people very fed up.

Always end up being scolded, left out or rejected.

This holiday, I did a lot of things that left me penniless. Of cos some trips are for free.

Like K-ing, Taking neoprints, Going Escape Theme Park, Indulgence in MOF(minstry of food) delicacies and more to be mentioned in this post.

First start with last week..

Except from job searching, I kept sleeping..sleeping at weird hours and wake up at weird hours..

I wake in the evening and sleep in the morning. Becos I just can't sleep at night.

Maybe my neighbours might think I'm a super weirdo bah. See a girl brushing teeth when they are eating.

I think if I took up that 2 weeks data entry job and give up that ushering job, I can earn more bah.

Rather than earning 1 day peanut salary.

Regret so much.

On thurs, went to Resort World Sentosa for an interview. It's called Ruyi chinese fast food restaurant.

Yap recommended this, but turn up to be a disappointment.

The place is overcrowd with staff, instead of customers when we reached.

The interviewer is super irritating. (See the conversation below) My turn to interview is after Yap.

Interviewer: You all same school ar. same class.

Me: Yes.

Interviewer: Where you know this job from? is it school website?

Me: Yes. Temasek Polytechnic blackboard.

Interviewer: (exclaimed in a quite rude manner) No wonder la. Everyone see see then want this job.

Me: (just laugh off but feeling like WTH)

Interviewer: So you can work midnight. Or you are that kind not independent always mummy this mummy that

Me: Of cos what we do we must ask permission from parents. (Asshole, you won't want your kids also don't listen to you bah)

Me: But I will try to persuade my parents. (bluff)

At the end of the interview, me and yina tour around resorts world and chit chat.

We were thinking that interviewer sucks and he is also the supervisor of that place.

How can I work with such person. 哼!

On fri, I took bus 87 to Techlink for a ushering job.

I didn't know it's not the normal kind of ushering, is ushering vips to the stage.

Seems easy but stupid. Because the stage stair is in front of the vips (a few steps away)..

Then I gonna stand quite a far distance from them. They walk fucking fast la..and got to catch up with them!

It's so embarassing throughout the whole ceremony. Everyone is like professionals and I made so many mistakes.

Even the co-ordinator scold me. I feel kinda sad.

But some mistakes I made is freaking funny.. until still can't stop laughing to myself on the bus(looks like lunatic)

So confuse whether to laugh or sad. Feel that I'm so useless and trashy like Kaiji in the movie.

Apart from the sad things, I know two new friend from the job. So happy.

On sat, watch Kaiji: the Ultimate Gambler with family except daddy.

The movie is damn nice. Enough it's not as action as Avarta but it's equally nice.

I cried at the climax when Kaiji and few other guys tried "The Brave Man Bridge", whereby one by one died and left Kaiji.

Awesome movie, it's worth watching :D

Then after the movie, we went 313 somerset to hunt for food.

First time dine in Blue Mountain Cafe and I can say the food and coffee is damn good!

Affordable and delicious.

However, there is a cook who openly staring at my direction through that small window while we are waiting at the queue.

Damn irritating. Somemore when I look back at him when my sisters told me this, he continues to stare at me.

First word I told my sisters, "DISGUSTING". Not saying the looks, but the stares is simply disgusting.

He also don't look that young.

Luckily, the place we sat is at the corner, covered by the bar area.

After the wonderful dinner, went to the restroom and took a lot of photos.

I must say the restroom is the best for taking photos and make up.

There are full length mirrors. Very clean ones.

End of the journey, but I can't sleep! maybe becos of the coffee or wat. My stomach aches and a little comfortable.

This week . Very boring beginning of the week.

I can't find jobs that suits me. And I feel miserable without jobs.

I feel very pamper everyone around me. They never stress. But do you know I feel sad when I got nothing to do.

Like a good-for-nothing lazy bum.

I got no money for entertainment. I don't go out because I wanna save money.

And even I go out I don't have money to buy things for them to eat or wear.

But I'm not say this because I want to give me money to spend.

Instead, I don't want them to give me their hard-earned money for my own pleasure.

Can anyone keep telling me where is my strengths? To motivate me.

Because I'm like that little timid mouse that scare of hunting for cheese.

Always waiting for your family members to bring cheese back for me. Who always don't want to step out of that hole.

What can I do to stop my interest from fluctuating.

When can I meet someone that can pei me do whatever thing I want. Someone who understand how I feel.

Why must I be so independent every time but that's not what I wanted.

I also want a lot of friends. guys to tell jokes to me, girls to share problems together..

I can really feel that god must be saying: "Wah, you are so greedy. So give you nothing!"

Think that I shall to go LittleNeuroTree to learn how to "love myself". My esteem level is going to reach negative.