Apr 10, 2007
Why am i so unhappy today?

Maybe i am just too sensitive about the things going on. Now, i can stand in the shoes of all the teachers throughout Singapore. I am really disappointed with myself and i feel sorry for the people i taught today. What Syakir commented about me in Maths remedial lesson is correct. I am just "wearing a hat that is bigger than my head". Neither i know how to teach nor know how to do. The coach is even more stupid than the members. How can she be the coach?
At that moment, i am totally confused and panicky when i know i taught the members the wrong thing. I really feel very guilty for today's mistakes and i wish to apologize. I tried to be strong at first but i can't. I felt extremely depressed when i saw my members losing confidence in me, struggling to get help from the others.

The confidence level slowly declined and i have no will to continue anymore..
I bursted into tears at last and left the class silently.
I just want you all to spare a thought for me and listen to me for a while.

Meiwei's feelings:

"Who want to stay awake until 2 am just to clarity and to be prepared to teach others tomorrow with my sister, who is my Maths tutor at home?"

I am not those people who always do revision at home. I am not genius in everything. I am very free neither and why i choose to stay up and wait for my sister to be back home and teach me? I can just hack care about everything and goes on doing the wrong thing. I admit that i do not know how to teach neither i am good at Loci. I scored 14marks only for the previous test. But since i'm assigned as the coach for Loci, i try.
I don't blame anyone for Today's mistake.
Although my sister taught me the wrong thing yesterday, i don't blame her. Instead, i am very grateful to her for teaching me even though she is very tired after work. She sacrificed her sleep for me.
I felt a surge of pain in my heart for letting down my tutor and i am sorry for wasting my members' time. I am also disappointed and discouraged. To be pessimistic, i am a damn loser. A loser who is sensitive and unable to control my own feelings. I can't stand up by myself anymore ∪∧∪

From now onwards, i tell myself, i will not be entertaining questions anymore in all subjects. I have no confident to teach anyone anymore. After this lesson, i learn a lot about the people around me.

I am perfectly alright now. I will try to remove the thorns in my heart because i can't bare the pain anymore.

Try standing in my shoes.
But i know no one will bother to do that.

"I will try to forgive and forget, but not forever!"

Signed off -